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State of American History, Civics, and Politics

BREAKING NEWS: 400 Pound Rogue Strikes in Turkey

The Real Killer

Judges 19:26 And as morning appeared, the woman came and fell down at the door of the man’s house where her master was, till it was light. 27 And her master rose up in the morning, and when he opened the doors of the house and went out to go on his way, behold, there was his concubine lying at the door of the house, with her hands on the threshold. 28 He said to her, “Get up, let us be going.” But there was no answer… 29 And when he entered his house, he took a knife, and laying hold of his concubine he divided her, limb by limb, into twelve pieces, and sent her throughout all the territory of Israel. 30 And all who saw it said, “Such a thing has never happened or been seen from the day that the people of Israel came up out of the land of Egypt until this day; consider it, take counsel, and speak.”

BREAKING NEWS!  BREAKING NEWS!

The Sean Hannity Investigative Team has cracked the mystery of who killed Jamal Khashoggi.

The Sean Hannity Investigative Team is the foremost world organization in solving the major political mysteries that define our times. Its vast resources exceed those available to such inferior organizations as the FBI and the CIA. As a result it is able to resolve mysteries more quickly, more thoroughly, and more accurately than the traditional Deep State organizations. Nobody is better than connecting the dots than Sean Hannity. Truly he has a beautiful mind.

The Sean Hannity Investigative Team was the first to crack the mystery that Seth Rich was the true key to the Russian violation of the 2016 American presidential election.

The Sean Hannity Investigative Team was the first to crack the mystery that the true collusion was between Russia and the Democratic Party.

The Sean Hannity Investigative Team was the first to realize that no native-born white person has murdered another native-born white person in America since Donald Trump became president and that all such murders were due to illegal aliens.

The Sean Hannity Investigative Team was the first to realize that no native-born white person has raped another native-born white person in America since Donald Trump became president and that all such rapes were due to illegal aliens (except maybe in Hollywood).

Now the Sean Hannity Investigative Team has applied its superior analytical skills to solving the mystery that no one has been able to solve so far. While everyone shakes their heads in bewildered wonderment as to how anyone could have perpetrated this dastardly deed, the Sean Hannity Investigative Team has boldly gone where no one has gone before and identified the true murderer. The same 400-pound man first identified by our Dear Leader as the culprit for the alleged Russian violation of America has been found to be the culprit behind the murder of Jamal Khashoggi. Everyone in Saudi Arabia can breathe easily now knowing that the Sean Hannity Investigative Team has exonerated them of all culpability. Jared Kushner can breathe easily now knowing that his investments are safe. Even the President of the United States can breathe easily now knowing that his policy of putting himself first above the interests of the United States is not in jeopardy. Go ahead and try to relocate the FBI headquarters so another developer can encroach on my domain! Just try it!

The murder of Jamal Khashoggi provides a test case in critical thinking skills. Think back to when we first learned of Monica Lewinski. At that moment, the Republican reaction was “Duh! What else do expect from Slick Willie?” By contrast the Democrats denied any truth to the accusations claiming it was all a put-up job by the Deep State aka vast rightwing conspiracy.

As it turns out, the Republicans were correct in their assessment of the guilt of the Democratic President. However, “Duh! What else do expect from Slick Willie?” is not a legal argument. It would not hold up in a court of law. In time, a circumstantial case was developed. That led to a smoking gun aka stained-blue dress. That led to a confession of sorts. Finally at that point, the Democrats acknowledged that the President of the United States had done what he was accused of doing. The new defense was “So what.” The Democrats did not say that in January, they did in September. The process through which their thinking changed provides an excellent case study into how the human mind works.

Now and with the forthcoming Mueller report and indictments, we have another opportunity to observe the human mind in action. Here we have a case of a carefully planned premeditated murder under the auspices of the Saudi Arabian Crown Prince and defacto king Mohammed bin Salman popularly known by his street handle MBS. He and his associate assembled a team “Mission Impossible” style with a variety of skills needed to complete the task. The team operated with precision quickly entering and leaving the country with scarcely a trace of their having been in Turkey.

The Saudi strike force almost escaped undetected. An Apple may prove to be their undoing. Apparently Khashoggi was wearing an Apple watch when he entered the Saudi consulate.  It was linked to a mobile phone held by Turkish fiancée, Hatice Cengiz. This black Apple watch will now join the stained-blue dress and smoking gun as symbols of guilt.

By coincidence, it must be coincidence, right?, a New York Times  article dated October 3 began:

Apple opened a routine product-launch event last month with a gag. An establishing aerial shot of Apple’s new circular headquarters set up a “Mission: Impossible”-inspired video sketch: The keynote speech is about to start, and it’s an emergency. A young woman is summoned into action, clutching a metallic briefcase while running, jumping, tripping and sliding her way out of the sparsely inhabited mile-round structure where she works. This rush across Apple’s depopulated futurescape is interrupted by an Apple Watch notifying our hero that she had completed her activity goal for the day….

 Apple is still in the process — and still in charge — of guessing what most people could get out of an Apple Watch…. Apple is left still guessing, with more persistence than confidence, what customers might not yet know they want [from Apple watch]. Meanwhile, the market is watching, and coming up with its own answers.

Now we have one use that no one anticipated.

Ironically, as the mission itself unfolded, the news in the United States of a new version of the movie Halloween:

It’s been 40 years since Laurie Strode survived a vicious attack from crazed killer Michael Myers on Halloween night. Locked up in an institution, Myers manages to escape when his bus transfer goes horribly wrong. Laurie now faces a terrifying showdown when the masked madman returns to Haddonfield, Ill. — but this time, she’s ready for him.

Will people in the future believe that is just coincidence? From this point forward every slasher chainsaw movie will be dedicated to the spirit of MBS…and even include sounds from or mimicking the ones from the actually murder and dismemberment as recorded through the Apple watch

What will the political ramifications be?

What will happen when Republican candidates are asked who killed Jamal Khashoggi?

What will happen when Republican candidates are asked why the Very Stable Genius could not figure out what really happened?

What will happen when Republican candidates are asked why the President of the United States put his own financial interests first?

The answer is very simple. They will reply that the murderer was a 400-pound rogue. How do they know that? The Sean Hannity Investigation Team told them so.

1 Samuel 17:51 Then David ran and stood over the Philistine, and took his sword and drew it out of its sheath, and killed him, and cut off his head with it.

MBS is no David.

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