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State of American History, Civics, and Politics

TrumpVirus, Lafayette Square, and Portland Statues, Monuments, and Memorials

This is not a drill. The jack-booted thugs have landed. Repeat. This is not a drill. (http://www.quickmeme.com)

With all the talk about toppling statues and defacing monuments and memorials, it is time to start thinking about the new ones which should be erected. Typically, wartime leaders build just such markers to their greatness and their triumphs. Our wartime thinks he deserves to be on Mount Rushmore. However that possibility does not seem likely. Instead We the People should consider the statues, monuments, and memorials appropriate to his leadership.

TRUMPVIRUS

The first topic for consideration is the TrumpVirus. Here is an area where our wartime leader rates himself a “10” and would not do anything different. He often proclaims how we are the envy of the world for our handling of the virus. Surely that appreciation can be expressed physically with commensurate statues, monuments, and memorials.

Statue

The obvious statue which comes to mind is the image of our heroic wartime leader brandishing his most powerful weapons in the fight against the TrumpVirus. I am referring, of course, to Little Donne Disinfectant wielding the one thing the coronavirus fears above all else – disinfectant! The statue should be of our wartime leader holding a bottle of disinfectant while the coronavirus slithers away in horror.

Think of Nero. Nearly 2000 years later and he is still remembered for fiddling while Rome burned…EVEN WITHOUT A STATUE! Think of how long Little Donnee Disinfectant will be remembered with a statue in his honor.

Funding for the statue should be easy. How much would Clorox play so the bottle of disinfectant isn’t Clorox? Similarly, how much would Lysol pay so it isn’t Lysol? The major issue to be decided is the size of the statue. Should it be a life size statue or one larger than life? And if larger than life then how much larger? Statue of Liberty large? Washington Monument large? Trump Tower large?  The size is open to debate.

The statue also should be bathed in a heavenly aura. This glow will represent the divine assistance Our Lord and Savior, the Chosen One, Blessed Be his Name, each time he invoked heavenly help to effect a miracle cure. After all, it is hardly unusual for divine right-kings and son of God rulers to pray for divine assistance in the midst of or prior to a battle.

Monument

Commentators frequently note that the death toll from the TrumpVirus exceeds that of multiple American wars combined. Plus the number is still rising and will continue to rise in the indefinite future. Therefore building a monument comparable to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial with 58,318 names may be impracticable. Who knows how many hundreds of thousands of people will end up dead due to the TrumpVirus.

Perhaps instead of one national monument dedicated to all who died of the TrumpVirus, there should be multiple monuments throughout the communities and states of the country. Once upon a time, the coronavirus was comparatively contained. But now it has metastasized and is everywhere. So any single monument to reflect the experience of the TrumpVirus would have to be conceptual.

Or perhaps it could be digital. Instead of a stone monument to the deceased perhaps a digital monument could be built. It would show the increased number of deaths over time with a suitable caption or voiceover. Some of the cable shows already have done something like this. For example, the map might start with 15 dots becoming zero and then gradually increase to fill in the whole country. Think of the vaunted Red Wave the wartime general always is talking about. We saw it in action in 2018.  We are seeing it in action in 2020 as Trumpican Senate candidates exult in the boost to their own reelections derived from the wartime President’s superb handling of the coronavirus. The digital projection could show the same red wave color spreading as the deaths of Americans sweep the country each time the wartime leader says the coronavirus is contained and under control.

LAFAYETTE SQUARE

Lafayette Square is indelibly etched into the American national consciousness as the site of the greatest military victory by a sitting President ever. Of course, American Presidents prior to becoming President had great victories as generals. Of course, American Presidents presided over great victories led by others. But what President himself has personally had such a stirring victory as the one by this wartime leader? Plus it was not against the coronavirus or even foreigners, but against Americans themselves. The closest parallel may be George Washington’s leadership in the Whiskey Rebellion in Pennsylvania [where decades earlier he had launched his military career in the French and Indian War].

I predict that Lafayette Square will become a great tourist draw. Tourists will flock to the site where America’s wartime leader dominated the square as no leader had before him and none will since. They will reenact the strenuous march to victory following his footsteps painted on the ground. They will approach the history sign erected to mark this heroic victory. And then convulsed in laughter they will take a selfie next to the cardboard cutout of the wartime President proudly holding a Bible upside down thrust to the heavens. Truly it will be a site to behold.

PORTLAND

But our wartime leader did not stop with dominating a mere square. It was just the start of a more ambitious effort to take back the country. He would seize the Democratic-governed areas one-by-one if he had too before all bowed down before him and knuckled to his will. It would be like Cornwallis taking back the colonies one-by-one in the South. To mix war metaphors, Portland may be our Fort Sumter, the place where America’s Third Civil War, became a true battlefront.

Remember how often we have been warned about jack-booted thugs and their black helicopters. Think of the National Rifle Association (NRA) running a four-page ad in the center of its American Rifleman magazine in 1993. It showed goose-stepping, jackbooted legs under the question, “What’s the First Step to a Police State?” The NRA followed up in 1995 with a reference to federal agents as “jackbooted government thugs” in a fund-raising letter.

Now we know all the rantings and ravings of the vast rightwing conspiracy are true. Now we know all the warnings about the Government are true. Now we know that the incessant call for the American people to arm themselves against the Government are true. Our wartime President has made his move against Portland. Other cities are to follow. We could not celebrate the 250th anniversary of the Boston Massacre this year due to the coronavirus. But now we have an opportunity to relive it. The wartime President will crush the Patriots until only the Loyalists to him remain. Isn’t that worthy of a statue?

So let’s not just topple statues, monuments, and memorials. Let’s think about the new ones to create in recognition of our wartime President. He has triumphed over the TrumpVirus, dominated Lafayette Square, and is seizing the cities that defy him. Truly he is worthy of being on Mount Rushmore if only there was room for him.

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